In The Beginning...

I started realizing something wasn’t right after the birth of my second son. I was constantly in pain and I was absolutely exhausted! I went to see my GP and I remember her asking me if I took a multivitamin; she suggested that I might be low in iron. She insisted that it was an easy fix and she’d also set me up with blood tests to make sure I wasn’t deficient in anything else. I got my trusty bottle of women’s vitamins and my requisition for a blood test and off I went! Fast forward a couple of months after that appointment and my blood tests came back completely normal, I had been taking my vitamins every day and I still felt like I was losing the battle to exhaustion and pain. When I lifted my baby I hurt everywhere. When my eldest sat on my lap and touched my skin I actually felt pain. What mother feels pain when their toddler just simply touches their cheek with love? Something wasn't right. I went back to see my GP and complained that nothing had changed. She suggested that I could very well have a condition called sleep apnea that causes you to have stop breathing episodes during the night. She wrote out another requisition to have a sleep study done and whether it was her fault or mine I’ll never know and it really doesn’t matter, but the requisition essentially got lost in space! About a year and a half later I go back to see her about other issues but still no news from the sleep clinic. I think that it’s a bit odd but for those of you who don’t know, Montreal wait times for health services can be VERY long. It’s gotten worse since covid but even back then we still had long wait times (but low medical bills ;) ). It had been over a year since I’d been on the waiting list (or thought I was anyways) and I went back to my doctor again to complain that no matter how much sleep I got, I just never felt rested! She looked on her computer and asked me if I ever faxed the requisition to the sleep clinic? I had to fax it??? I had no idea and here I had been waiting for almost two long years and they didn’t even have my req! I wanted to cry. She sent it out herself this time and long story short it took awhile to hear back from the CLSC (a form of government run community health services available here in Quebec) about having an at home sleep test done. The glorious day comes and I bring home their trusty little machine and attach all the electrodes as stated and after a horrible sleep, return the machine to its rightful owner the next day. They promise to call me with results. Sure enough a week or two later I get a call from the CLSC with an appointment to see a doctor for my results. By this time I have convinced myself that I must have sleep apnea because when waking up from naps I find myself gasping and my heart is racing a million beats per minute! The results don’t show anything… I can’t believe it! The doctor tells me that the at-home tests aren't always conclusive and that I’ll have to undergo a sleep study overnight at a sleep clinic. In the heart of the pandemic when we still had so very many restrictions here in Quebec, I get the call that there's an opening the next night. That was an experience in and of itself! I'd like to know if anyone can get a good night's sleep when you have a million electrodes attached to your back, chest and head? I certainly did not! However when the results came in I did indeed have severe sleep apnea. Sleeping with a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine certainly helped with my pain but definitely wasn't the cause of it. In the interim I had to undergo physical exams, xrays, nerve functions tests and blood tests. Tests for thyroid function. Tests to rule out ankylosing spondalitis. Tests to rule out rheumatoid arthrtitis. Fibromyalgia really is a condition of omission. When you have been teseted for everything and the kitchen sink and you come back to pain, Fibromyalgia is often the answer. As a patient I understood the need to be thorough but as a person, I was frustrated at how much time it was taking to get answers! I guess I believed when I had the diagnosis (even though my GP by this time kept telling me it was probably Fibromyalgia but it had to be diagnosed by a rheumatologist) I could do something to fix it. To this day I haven't "fixed" it but rather learned these amazing tools that help me to live a full and meaningful life despite the pain.